


i was an island

by addictive_chaos



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: :3, ;D, Coming Out, Corans gotta calm Allura, Fluff and Angst, Hunks a sweetheart, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Secret Relationship, Sick Lance, Things start slow but pick up, but its the longest oneshot ive ever written soooo, but only in the beginning, canon-verse, im actually really proud of this, klance, much angst, plus some improv by me, plz read, sorry - Freeform, theres that, things get sad, this ended up being longer than i meant, this is a songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 22:44:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9849806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addictive_chaos/pseuds/addictive_chaos
Summary: I was a fighter, and I was so braveBut I lowered my sword when you held me and sworeYou'd stay, stay, stay oh





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a songfic to the song I Was An Island by Allison Weiss. You can listen to that here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SqCGFPDFaU . 
> 
> Enjoy~!

* * *

 

_I was an island before you came along,_

 

I tapped my foot nervously. It was my first day at the Garrison; the most elite military-space school in the country, maybe even the world.

I wasn’t really interested in making friends, just doing my best. Shiro pat my back, saying, “I know you’ll be great.”

“Come an’ visit,” I joked, knowing his tight schedule. He chuckled at my dry humor. ‘Might as well go in,’ I thought to myself.

I walked in and gave Shiro a half-hearted wave over my shoulder.

 

_Put your boat in my sand, your hand in my hand,_

 

I looked around the classroom. We were taking a pretest and I finished early. But no one had turned theirs in yet. So I shrugged to myself.

I got up and turned the paper in. The teacher raised an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes and turned to get my stuff and go.

I accidentally locked eyes with a boy down one of the rows though. He had eyes like crystals. I couldn’t help but smirk at his exasperated face.

_Your heart in my songs._

I pulled out the homework I had gotten. Luckily, I hadn’t gotten a roommate. So I spread my books and papers across the floor and began to work.

After a bit, I decided I needed some noise. So, I began to sing a couple self-composed songs.

Singing always helped me focus. And this still applied to when I was working. So I ended up finishing pretty quickly.

I found myself writing a new song. One about a boy with crystals for eyes.

 

_I was a fighter, and I was so brave._

 

“Hey Kogane,” Someone called. I sighed, turning around. A messy-haired, blonde boy stood there, smirking.

“Yes, _Trevor_ ,” I shot, his name like venom on my tongue.

“What’s wrong? Missing Shiro?” He taunted.

“That’s none of your business,” I growled, balling my fist. A small crowd’s gathering around us. I took a quick note to end this quickly.

“Daddy’s boy,” He mocked. I scuffed before delivering a sharp punch to his jaw. He stumbled backwards, in shock.

“You’re gonna regret that,” He snapped, racing forwards. His form was sloppy and I easily punched his stomach. He fell onto the ground, coughing.

That’s when he pulled out a switch-blade. The crowd gasped. I was too distracted by the crowd – which had greatly grown.

He charged and cut my cheek. I dodged his next attack and hit his wrist. This knocked the blade from his hand.

“KOGANE! SMYTHE!” A teacher marched in a broke up the fight.

 

_But I lowered my sword when you held me and swore_

 

I sat on a chair in the nurses station. She had ran to grab her sewing kit because apparently I needed stitches.

I scuffed slightly at the empty atmosphere.

That’s when Crystal-Eyes marched in. I raised an eyebrow.

“Keith, right?” He sat next to me. I nodded, rolling my eyes. 

“Cool cool…” He drifted off. After a moment, he continued, “I saw the fight. You're really good.”

“Thanks, I guess,” I shrugged.

“But you really shouldn’t fight people. It’ll ruin that pretty face of yours,” He added, smirking.

I was shocked. I’d never been hit on before.

 

_You'd stay, stay, stay oh_

 

The nurse had stitched up the cut and was now dealing with Crystal-Eyes. Apparently, he had a fever of 105. So I came to the conclusion he was just delusional and didn’t actually have an interest in me.

After I was given to okay to go back to my dorm, and right after the nurse had run to grab some pills for Crystal-Eyes, I was walking out. He winked at me and said, “Room 35B. Come by if you ever want some company.” My cheeks were burning but I kept a cool face, scuffing and walking away, writing his actions off as his fever.

 

_I can't do this alone anymore_

 

I rolled my eyes as the group of teachers before me talked in a quiet voice. It’s like I'm not there.

“Keith, we know you're still dealing with Shiro’s disappearance, but we’ve decided to expel you,” The headmaster addressed me. I was shocked. Sure, I had gotten into many fights. But I never thought this’d happen.

But I was too mad to actually be rational. “Good,” I snapped, standing up.

“You have 1 week to empty your dorm,” He added. I was already walking out.

I stopped at the door though. “Good luck finding anyone as good as me to pilot a fighter ship,” I tossed cheekily over my shoulder.

 

_'Cause I'm no good on my own anymore_

 

I stopped in my shack. “I need some human contact,” I muttered to myself, collapsing into a chair. I had been looking for any sign of Shiro. I knew there was no way he was dead.

Shiro’d never go down that easily.

 

_What did I do to deserve this?_

 

I looked at my self-made radio. It’d been going whack the past few days. And the markings were steadily rising. I believed they would peak soon.

I sighed, stepping from the radio and grabbed my gear. I slipped my jacket on, not knowing when I’d be back.

I exited the shack and hopped on my bike, driving towards the cave with special markings.

 

_What did you do to me?_

 

I lifted Shiro off the table. He had a scar across his nose and his bang were white. But other than that, he looked pretty much identical to the last time I saw him.

That’s when a brunette boy was suddenly in the doorway, marching forward, repeating ‘no’ like some mantra. “I'm saving Shiro,” He said as if it was some predestined thing.

“Who are you?” I growled, the words coming out harsher than I meant. It was meant to be a genuine question.

He stepped onto the other side of Shiro, helping hold him up. Our hands brushed, and my heart rate sped up but I ignored this.

“Who am I? Uh, the names Lance,” He said in a know-it-all tone. I stared at him.

“We were in the same class at the Garrison.” He added.

“Really? Are you a-a engineer?” I asked.

“No, I'm a pilot. We were rivals. You know, Lance and Keith – neck and neck.”

Then I remembered. He was dubbed Crystal-Eyes for a while. And then he got annoying. So I had thrown in the towel with him.

“Oh, wait, I remember you. You’re a cargo pilot,” I remembered.

“Well not anymore. I’m fighter class now thanks to you washing out,” He shot back, seemingly sensitive of the subject. 

“Well congratulations,” I replied dully and began dragging Shiro, Lance following my lead.

However, I couldn’t get my heart-rate to slow. I blamed the adrenaline.

 

_Baby, come back._

 

I stabbed one of the training robots. Quickly spinning around and slashing another.

“End training sequence!” Lances voice broke through the sound of metal clashing metal.

I spun around, sweating. “You’re overworking yourself,” He demanded from the doorway.

“I’m fine,” I snapped. He ignored me.

“You’re too skinny,” He critiqued, “Do you even eat?”

“I eat when I have time,” I rolled my eyes. Worry flashed across his face.

“Keith…” He started.

“I’m fine!” I shot. This time hurt flashed across his face.

“Start training sequence,” I told the computer and got back to practicing.

 

_You know I don't want to be free._

 

 We were fighting the Galra. I was pretty much surrounded, but I fought through them. I was limping due to an injury though. I cut down another and looked around, noting I was pretty far from the group. I bit my lip as at fought more off. I regret my choice to spread from them.

Suddenly, I felt something singe my hair. I spun around just in time to see a Galra fall over. Shot. I looked back to see Lance, grinning at me.

I continue fighting but I couldn’t shake the feeling Lance had put in me when he saved my back.

 

_I was a rebel, but I had a cause,_

 

It was late. Everyone was asleep, I presume. I couldn’t sleep though. I unwrapped my knife again.

I need to know more about it. Why I have it. Where I got it. What it means. I sighed. Deciding sleep was no longer an option; I grabbed my bayard and went to the training deck.

 

_'Til you came to town, pushed me around,_

 

I moved on to the next level in the training course. I knew it’d be morning soon. I was sweating like crazy from the lack of breaks I gave myself.

My mind was on Lance. It irked me I used to have a small crush on him. But it irked me even more that I regained this crush. Only this time it wasn’t as small.

After a while, I realized I was in no shape to be fighting another level. “End training sequence,” I called. The computer ended it and I just collapsed where I stood. Falling onto my knees.

Deciding my water was too far as well as the bench, I just fall asleep then and there.

 

_And showed me what love was_

 

I awoke to an unfamiliar atmosphere. At least, compared to how I fell asleep.

I woke up in a comfy bed, or, more accurately, in my comfy bed. I turned and sat up, rubbing my eyes. I noticed Lance was sitting on a chair across from the bed.

“Hey sleepyhead,” He teased.

“Why are you in my room?” I barked.

“Hey calm down. I was making sure you’re okay,” He replied. I scuffed.

“We found you passed out on the training deck this morning,” He defended.

“Oh,” I grumbled, “It was supposed to be a quick nap.”

“You shouldn’t work yourself to that level of exhaustion,” He nagged, ignoring me.

I rolled my eyes, letting him rant about whatever.

 

_I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pack_

 

It was late at night. I was feeling stressed again. But my muscles were sore from working so hard. So I wasn’t about to force myself to the training deck.

So I didn’t the best next thing. I began to focus on something else. I forced myself to sit up, reaching under the bed.

I pulled out a small stack of sheet music. I flipped through it until I got to one that was unfinished. Its where I write the songs I make.

I sighed and went over the song as I forced myself up to get a pencil. I reached the spot I was stuck at. I sat back on the bed, my joints screaming.

 

_But you answered my cries in the dead of the night_

 

I went over that part over and over. I couldn’t decide how to describe the next part.

I repeated it until I felt the pencil snap in my tight grip; this being due to my frustration.

Then there was a knock at my door. I sighed, thinking it’d be Pidge telling me to be quiet. I got up to get another pencil while calling back, “Come in.”

When I turned back, I didn’t expect to see Lance standing there though. “I heard you singing,” He said simply.

“Oh,” I paused, “Sorry if I woke you. Im stuck at a verse and I cant figure out what to put.”

Silence filled the sentence for a moment. “Do you need an accompaniment?” He asked.

“What?” I raised an eyebrow. He stepped in and I could now see he was holding a guitar.

“Where’d you get a guitar in space?” I asked.

“Well I had Coran work with some alien-space wood. And Hunk helped me with the strings and stringing overall. And Pidge helped make a tuner. I play it sometimes when I miss home,” He explained, his voice going soft for the last part.

 

_And told me that you had my back, oh_

 

I was singing to my piece and he was strumming chords as I went. Making it sound sweet and authentic. When I got to the part I was struggling at, Lance helped make suggestions.

“Maybe describe it like drowning,” He offered.

“But it feels like its consuming me from the inside-out,” I explained.

“Then put that down,” He grinned.

I mentally face palmed, knowing it was so obvious and I missed it. I scribbled the line down. Soon the following lyrics flowed from my pencil tip as my hand continued to write.

 

_I can't do this alone anymore_

 

Once I was happy with it, I shot Lance a nervous smile. He gave an encouraging one in return.

I began to sing it from the beginning. Lance was strumming along, adding depth to the piece.

When I hit the end, he held out the last chord. It sounded great. I’m sure my eyes lit up. I was beaming at Lance. “Thank you,” I squealed quietly.

Lance blushed and looked down. “I had fun tonight,” He looked up after a moment.

“I did too,” I agreed.

“Maybe we can be friends,” He suggested.

“I’d’ love that,” I agreed quietly, placing my music back under the bed, tossing the pencil across the room.

 

_'Cause I'm no good on my own anymore_

 

“Hey Lance,” I called across the lounge.

“Yeah?” He replied, looking over. He appeared to be chilling with Hunk - except Hunk appeared to have fallen asleep. I motioned for him to follow.

I went to the top-most viewing deck, hearing Lance’s footsteps following.

I stopped once I was in the middle of it, looking through the big window-ceiling.

He came up next to me. “This is beautiful, but is there anything in particular you wanted me for?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I pointed to a star, “It’s about to go supernova. And I wanted you to see.”

So we watched. Rather, Lance watched the star and I watched Lance.

I slightly hated myself for letting my crush get as big as it is. But there’s not much I could do. I had already accepted it.

Lances eye lit up when it exploded. That’s when he noticed I was staring at him. But I didn’t look away. Slowly, I leaned it.

 

_What did I do to deserve this?_

 

Lance pulled me into his room. As soon as the door was shut, he was hugging me. I melted into his embrace, hugging back. “I don’t care what theory you’re testing, tell me next time you decide to take off,” He demanded softly. I nodded, knowing he knows I had to do it.

“But we now know it’s not me the Galra are tracking so I shouldn’t have to take off again,” I reasoned.

“Good,” He pulled back. I could now see his eyes were about to spill over with tears. So I sat on the bed and pulled him into my lap.

I rubbed his back for a moment and soon I could feel his shoulders shake. I soothed him as best as I could.

 

_What did you do to me?_

 

“I thought you left me for Allura for a moment,” He spoke into my shoulder.

“I would never,” I soothed.

“I know. But in the moment, I thought that. And it hurt,” He sniffled, “Pathetic, I know.”

I gasped. “Lance McClain; you are many things. Pathetic is not one of them in the slightest,” I demanded. He leaned back and looked me in my eye, probably looking for any hint at a lie. But I stood my ground for what I believe.

After moments of silence I shifted us so we were lying down. My arms were wrapped around his waist. His face’s buried into my shirt. “What if they find us in the morning?” Lance worried.

“Then we tell them,” I replied.

“But I thought you didn’t want them to know we’re a thing,” He reminded.

“Forget that,” I smiled softly at him. He relaxed. I pulled him close. We fell asleep like that.

 

_Baby, come back._

I didn’t wake up to Hunk or Pidge standing above us, which shocked me a bit.

So I studied Lance, trying to memorize his every feature. I was well aware the risks our occupation offered. But we couldn’t NOT save the universe.

So I waited until his eyes fluttered open and until he seemed awake. “I love you,” I blurted.

His face was blank for a moment. And I thought I messed up. I opened my mouth to apologize or defend myself. But then he smiled warmly. “I love you too,” He replied gently.

All the worry emptied itself from my body with those words. I pulled him closer.

Lance seemed to enjoy this. 

 

_You know I don't want to be free._

 

There was nothing out of sorts all day, until Coran decided to go shopping.

Shiro stayed back to strengthen his bond with his lion.

As soon as Coran left us though, we were taking off our horrible disguises.

Everyone went there ways and soon it was just Lance and I. “You looked cute like that,” He flirted.

“’Couldn’t’ve looked nearly as good as you,” I flirted back playfully. His face was suddenly red and he was tripping over his words.

“All bark, no bite, eh?” I smirked.

“Sh-sh-shut up!” He blurted, blushing wildly.

 

_I can't do this alone anymore_

The room was quiet. I don’t think anyone really knew what to say. Allura looked almost disgusted. Hunk’s fists were balled. Lance’s face was blank. Pidge’s face was unreadable. Coran looked torn. Shiro was avoiding eye contact.

“I need time to process this,” Allura stood up, beginning to walk away.

“No,” Hunk slammed his fist in a rather un-Hunk-like fashion. Everyone jumped.

“Why is this so hard for you accept? He’s still Keith. The Keith we know and love. He didn’t just magically change. He’s always been this way. You shouldn’t treat him different just because he just found out he has Galra blood in him,” Hunk spoke clearly.

We made eye contact, I gave him a silent thanks.

Allura gave a defiant ‘hmph’ and marched away. “I’ll calm her down,” Coran offered, chasing after her.

 

_'Cause I'm no good on my own anymore_

 

I cut down another robot; and another; and another; and so on. I knew I was overworking myself. I didn’t care.

I was mad – I’m not really sure whom I was mad at - but I was mad. I finished level 9 and moved on to 10.

I got about a third of the way through when my brain was screaming to end it, but my angry just continued. So I continued.

I got another third in when Shiro’s voice called through the room and ended it. I shot him a glare.

“You need to take a break. You keep working yourself too hard,” He demanded.

“Im not gonna listen to a 6 year old,” I shot. I knew it was a low blow. But I was too mad to care. But while Shiro looked like he could kill me, I held my ground.

 

_What did I do to deserve this?_

 

In the end, Shiro banned me from the training deck for the rest of the day. If I thought I was mad before, then I was furious now.

Shiro basically grounded me. So I had taken a shower, got dressed, and then collapsed onto my bed.

After a while, I realized I wouldn’t last if I continued to bottle it. So I drew my bayard and began to attack the walls. Leaving slash after slash, cut after cut. 

After a while, there was a knock at my door. I stopped attacking and looked over my shoulder. The door opened with a hiss. Pidge, Hunk, Lance, and Shiro stood there. They all looked very worried.

“Is there a reason you’re destroying your room?” Shiro asked calmly.

 

_Baby, come_ _back_ _._

 

I marched forward, pointing to him with the tip of my bayard. This in hindsight was an awful idea and I could’ve hurt him. But I didn’t care.

“Because you basically grounded me from my only coping mechanism,” I growled, taking long deep breaths through gritted teeth.

“You were overworking yourself,” His voice was calm but I could see the worry in his eyes.

“Like I care,” I scuffed.

Hunk reached out and gently touched my hand. “I think you need to take a deep breath,” He offered kindly.

I took a very long, deep breath. “Now can you tell us why or who you're mad at?” He spoke gently, but not as if he was talking to a baby – which was nice.

Who was I mad at? I didn’t know. And that’s why I was mad. I gripped my bayard until my knuckled turned white and tossed it at the wall, evidently imbedding the weapon in it.

“I don’t know!” I screamed at no one in particular. Then the bayard untransformed itself, making the blade disappear and it fell to the ground with a clatter.

 

_You know I don't want to be free._

 

Silence filled the room like gushing water. I was glaring at the ground, feeling like I was exploding.

Then I could feel myself be pulled into a tight hug. I stiffened for a moment. Then my body relaxed into the familiar embrace. I hugged Lance back, feeling my knees go weak.

He slowly lowered us until we were just on our knees, hugging.

I buried my face in the crook of his neck, gripping his jacket, feeling the need to be impossibly closer. Minor fear of what Pidge, Shiro, and Hunk were thinking filled me.

But just as soon as it came, it went, because Lance was here. And as long as I have him, I’ll be okay.

And suddenly, I could feel tears pushing on my eyes. And before I could stop myself, I was crying quietly. This escalated into silent sobbing pretty quickly.

 

_Oh, baby, come back._

 

I was training on the training deck while Pidge, Shiro, and Lance were on a mission. I was beginning to grow hungry. So reluctantly ended the session and went to the kitchen to get some food.

I promptly found Hunk making cookies. “Smells good,” I compliment, sitting on a bar stool.

“Thanks,” He beams, pulling the tray from the oven. I reached for one only to have him slap my hand away.

“They are very hot,” He warned. I nodded, retracting my hand.

“We gotta wait a couple of minutes,” He added after a moment. I rested my head in my hands, nodding again.

“Sooo… You and Lance?” He raised an eyebrow.

I shifted in my seat slightly. “Yeah,” I nodded.

“Is that a recent thing? Or how long?” He pestered.

“A while,” I replied casually. He huffed.

“But how long is ‘a while’?” He asked. I laughed a bit.

 

_You know I don't want to be free._

 

Lance was curled up against me, cuddling. “What’s my thing?” He asked randomly.

“Wheres this coming from?” I asked.

“Well, when I was guiding what I thought was a prisoner away, I was talking to him. I ended up realizing, I don’t have a thing, do I? I mean, would you guys keep me around if I wasn’t the blue paladin? If I wasn’t needed to form Voltron, would I still be here?” He rambled.

“Lance, of course! Even if you weren’t the blue paladin, you’re still essential to the team. You lighten the mood with your clever jokes. This place’d be like a funeral without you. And you’re our sharpshooter. You’re irreplaceable,” I soothed.

“Really?” He looked into my eyes.

“Really,” I assured. His face broke into a grin that melted my heart.

 

_No, no, no, no_

 

It was post-battle and we rushed over to the black lion. She opened up to reveal… nothing.

Shiro wasn’t there. “Shiro?” I called, not willing to accept this.

“Is he…?” Hunks voice was filled with sorrow.

“No,” I repeated, “He’s not dead. He can’t be. He’s Shiro! Shiro doesn’t just die!”

Lance placed a hand on my shoulder. “Keith…” He drifted off.

“He’s not!” I demanded.

 

_Baby, come back._

 

I had drifted mentally from everyone since Shiro disappeared. I ate more and worked less. I knew the sudden lifestyle change was bad but I couldn’t care less.

I hadn’t been sleeping either.

I spent most of my waking time thinking about him though.

“Keith you need to sleep,” Lance pleaded.

“No, I need to find Shiro,” I countered.

“Then Im not sleeping until you do,” He shot back, determined.

I sighed. He needs his sleep. I can’t take that from him. “Only a small nap,” I grumbled. He beamed, leading me into the lounge. I fell asleep almost instantly.

 

_You know I don't want to be free._

 

I woke up with a start. I had an idea about Shiro. And I felt as if I knew exactly. I climbed off the sofa. “Keith?” Lance muttered, waking up too.

“I got it!” I cheered, grinning for the first time in 3 weeks.

“What is it?” Lance slowly sat up.

“I know where Shiro is!” I shouted, excited.

“Where?” Lance seemed fully awake now.

“He’s in an alternate universe.”

* * *

 


End file.
